Monday Something: News Outlets Can Use This One Simple Trick To Get More Clicks

It’s called Irony, get used to it.

Clickbait Drives me CRAZY! For those of you who don’t know, Clickbait are the worst headlines imaginable where the writer tries to be as clever as possible to get you to click the link so they can get the Ad Revenue from your visit. 

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Comic from XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1283/

Jokes on you, guys. Everyone browsing the internet these days has an adblocker. (I do, so your click bait doesn’t work on me). It’s gotten so bad lately that the headlines are down-right ridiculous. Give me a real headline, and I’ll probably read your article. You clickbait me, and no matter how curious I am, I will refuse to click your link!

The following are some actual headlines that have been posted to the internet (with my suggested rewrite that will actually get clicks):

  • She Was Celebrating Her 18th Birthday. Then an Exploding Drink Left Her Without This Vital Organ
    • Suggested rewrite: “Accident At Bar Leaves Teen Without Stomach
  • What Andy Samberg Gave Away at Emmys Will Make You Wanna Call in Sick and Sit on Your Couch All Day

    • Suggested rewrite:  Andy Samberg Gives Away His Own HBO Now Account Login On Live TV

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus Poked Fun at a Certain Presidential Candidate in Her Emmy Acceptance Speech 

    • Suggested rewrite:  Julia Louis-Dreyfus Attacks Trump During Acceptance Speech

  • The Gift That Pope Francis Just Gave Fidel Castro Has a Not-So-Subtle Message Attached to It

    • Suggested Rewrite: Pope Gifts Castro A Book Written By Cuban Forced Out Of Country By Castro

  • Emmy-Winner For ‘Best Actress in Drama Series’ Says Only One Thing Is Different for Black Women

    • Suggested Rewrite: Viola Davis Talks About Opportunity In Her Emmy Acceptance Speech

There are more, but I’ll stop here. My suggested rewrites are not vague like the clickbait headlines are, and they give you enough information to decide if you want to read more. I posit that the Non Clickbait headlines might even generate more clicks, After all, traditional newspapers have been direct with their headlines for over 150 years without having to result to vague baited headlines.

Stop It! We’re not stupid fish, and we don’t fall for your bait.

-TMC